New Beginning

I walked a path full of darkness and pain that left me unable to do anything, let alone create anything. I was walking through the fantasy of my mind, blinded by my ego along with a deeply wounded emotional body.

I'm in a relationship that shows me my wounds. It showed me the pain from the past that it was projecting on my significant other. My ego tried to convince me that she was the one hurting me, but it really had nothing to do with her. I kept reliving my long-forgotten emotions over and over again.

When it started to go too far, I decided to do something a little different with it. I decided to dig deep into that wound. I chose to be with my emotions. Although I didn't feel much of a shift at the time, it seems to me now that something has changed since then. I feel much less reactive to subjects that would have triggered feelings of pain in me before.

Now it seems to me that painful emotions like this are not part of the ego. It's as if the emotion is triggered by a thought or situation similar to the one that hasn't been resolved yet, and then the ego creates a story about it that you believe if you're not really aware of it. When I was with my emotions, I focused only on them and not on the thoughts that we often subconsciously associate with them. And now that I can see the triggering thought, the emotional feedback isn't nearly as crippling for me.

It's time to move on. It's time to start focusing on what I want to achieve in life. This also includes joining forces with my god wife as we share the same mission to share our story and inspire others.